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A HOUSE-BOAT ON THE STYX

BEING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE DIVERS
DOINGS OF THE ASSOCIATED SHADES

by John Kendrick Bangs

Illustrated by Peter Newell

NEW YORK

HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS
1896
Copyright 1895, by HARPER & BROTHERS



TO
HENRY LOOMIS NELSON
THROUGH WHOSE ACQUIESCENCE THESE PAPERS WERE
FIRST INFLICTED UPON A LONG-SUFFERING PUBLIC
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED
WITH THE HOPE THAT IT MAY BE SOME WEEKS
BEFORE HE BECOMES ELIGIBLE FOR MEMBERSHIP AMONG
THE ASSOCIATED SHADES




CONTENTS

I.                     CHARON MAKES A DISCOVERY
II.                   A DISPUTED AUTHORSHIP
III.                  WASHINGTON GIVES A DINNER
IV.               HAMLET MAKES A SUGGESTION
V.                 THE HOUSE COMMITTEE DISCUSS THE POETS
VI.               SOME THEORIES, DARWINIAN AND OTHERWISE
VII.              A DISCUSSION AS TO LADIES’ DAY
VIII.            A DISCONTENTED SHADE
IX.                AS TO COOKERY AND SCULPTURE
X.                  STORY-TELLERS’ NIGHT
XI.                AS TO SAURIANS AND OTHERS
XII.              THE HOUSE-BOAT DISAPPEARS


ILLUSTRATIONS

“THE BRILLIANT COMPANY WAS ARRANGED ABOUT THE BOARD”
“CHARON DISCOVERS A STRANGE-LOOKING CRAFT”
“CHARON IS RECEIVED BY THE HOUSE COMMITTEE”
“ ‘GOOD SHOT,’ SAID DOCTOR JOHNSON, NONCHALANTLY”
“LORD BACON, ACCOMPANIED BY CHARON, APPEARED”
“AN ORCHESTRA OF FIVE, UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF MOZART,
              DISCOURSED SWEET MUSIC”
DOCTOR JOHNSON IN A RAGE
“THE MELANCHOLY DANE APPEARED”
EJECTING A FRENZIED POET FROM THE CARD-ROOM
THE HOUSE COMMITTEE DISCUSS THE POETS
“ ‘AND I, TOO,’ PUT IN BARON MUNCHAUSEN, ‘HAVE FREQUENTLY CONVERSED
              WITH MONKEYS’ ”
“ ‘BOY, IS ADAM IN THE CLUB-HOUSE TODAY?’ ”
SIR WALTER RALEIGH MEETING QUEEN ELIZABETH
LUCRETIA BORGIA AND DELILAH WERE NOT INVITED
“ ‘WHAT IS THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF A COPY OF “PUNCH”?’ DRAWLED
              ARTEMAS WARD”
SHAKESPEARE AS A SUBURBAN RESIDENT
PHIDIAS SEES “A LIFE-SIZE STATUE OF THE INVENTOR OF A NEW KIND OF
              LARD”
“PHIDIAS MODELLED A BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF MINERVA”
“GOLDSMITH, PALE WITH FEAR, RISES TO SPEAK”
WELLINGTON PULLS BONAPART’S CAMP-CHAIR FROM UNDER HIM
“ ‘I’D LIKE MIGHTILY TO HAVE YOU EXPLAIN YOUR STATEMENT, MR. BARNUM’ ”
“ ‘PAPA IS RIGHT ABOUT THAT, MR. BARNUM,’ SAID SHEM”
THE FAIR STROLLERS
“IT WAS CAPTAIN KIDD AND HIS PIRATE CREW”


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